Italian Pants: A Photo-Documentary

‘Yeah I saw a player get pantsed on the field,’ explains my student, describing her spectatorship of an Italian soccer match. ‘I think that is pretty commonplace.’ She has just provided me with yet another reason to love il calcio. But depantifying the average Italian man is not necessary, for his basket region is often visibly evident through tight cloth wrapped around nutsack. The young man jogging toward me the other morning, for example, wore white rubber-like shorts with neon green arrows that pointed to his man-parts, complete with the command ‘Guarda!’ I sure did. ‘I wish I had my camera with me,’ I mused regretfully. Precisely then I was struck with a brilliant idea, namely the creation of the photo-documentary below. Clearly, I would need help to collect, classify, and provide statistical information about Tuscan leg wear and buttock display, not to mention crotch projection. Thankfully, the students in the Cortona Program were quite gung ho about this new project and performed the required research with enthusiasm, esp E, E, M, and S. This week, I began each class with the following probing question ‘Find any good pants?’ and ended with the command: ‘Don’t forget to e-mail me your pants!’ Please enjoy the literal fruits of our collective labour, which is designed to teach you crucial lessons about Italian cultural practices, and to show you what some fellow jackass tourists actually wear while traveling.  

Under pants, Cortona, Sunday May 13, 11.04 am.

Piazza patrol pants, Cortona, Monday May 14, 3.11 pm.

Italian patriot pants, Arezzo, Tuesday May 15, 9.58 am.

Single hulk-ripped leg pants, Florence, Tuesday May 15, 12.12 pm.

Saint disapproves of skinny pants (and he is correct), Arezzo, Tuesday May 15, 1.23 pm.

 No comment pants

Carabinieri train station pants, Arezzo, Tuesday May 15, 3.11 pm.

I wove my own pants, Cortona, Wednesday May 16, 2.52 pm.


German touring pants, Cortona, Thursday May 17, 11.37 am.


I modi pants, Siena, Friday May 18, 10.48 am.


hospital pants

Surprising shoe choice hospital pants, Siena, Friday May 18, 10.49 am.

Refused entry into church pants, Siena, Friday May 18, 12.52 pm.

Espresso bean delivery man pants, Cortona, Saturday May 19, 4.42 pm.

Flashy man pants, pick a place, any place

Obligatory leather pants, Siena

‘Erotic’ glimpse pants, Arezzo, Saturday May 19, 2.37 pm.

Are these really pants? pants, Florence, Saturday May 19, 3.00 pm.

Fireman pants, Cortona, Saturday May 19, 3.09 pm.


Unflattering horizontal stripe pants, Cortona, Sunday May 20, 2.16 pm.

Flattering vertical stripe Renaissance pants, Cortona, Sunday May 20, 4. 18 pm.

In the mail for RenMan gift pants, Cortona, Sunday May 20, 4.19 pm.

Oops I sharted bike pants, Cortona, Sunday May 20, 5.01 pm.

Only fair to include FFG bootcamp pants, Monday May 21, 7.10 am.

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About feministfiguregirl

I am a 51-year-old professor named Lianne McTavish who receives as much satisfaction from working out at the gym as from publishing my academic research. About eight years ago, I decided to combine my two primary identities (scholar/gym rat) to create "Feminist Figure Girl," a fictional character who both analyzes and participates in bodybuilding. I competed in my first figure show in June of 2011, and then wrote a book inspired by the process, published by SUNY Press in February 2015. In this blog I will write about and consider my ongoing research on the body, while regularly making fun of myself. I recommend that you start reading my first post from August 2010 (available on the home page), instead of backwards from the most recent one, in order to get the full FFG effect.

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