Will it be boring shit or annoying shit? Perhaps a little of both. Let’s start with the mundane and then move into a blunt discussion of the latest fitness and diet research. Continue reading
Shit You Don’t Want to Hear
5
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Boring Ass Blogs
‘In order to qualify for the shit pub crawl, the bar has to be filled with shitty people, but not so shitty that upon entering it you will be immediately stabbed by a toothless drunk.’ So pronounced Floppy Jackass [FJ], a likeable, lanky, and often impressively inebriated man. Continue reading
I Suffer, Therefore I Am
Let me complete this phrase: I suffer, therefore I am…a rather useless, self-absorbed asshole. Which officially makes me middle class. Well it was bound to happen one day, given my relentless pursuit of cultural capital. Continue reading
Honey Badger Ethics
I am not sorry that this blog post is late. I don’t give a shit. I had things to do this weekend. I was hungry so I ate, jumping the line and stealing syrup at the IHOP. I needed pillows, so I went to Ikea, pushing those stiletto baby mamas outta the way to attack giant bins of animal shaped cookie cutters. Only $3.99? Me want! Me suddenly require! Why snail?
One of these things is not like the others.
Fuck Balls (My Failure is Your Reward)
Fuck balls! That’s what I shouted during the early evening of Saturday December 31, channeling Deb from Dexter. Let me explain: in October I had entered a short story writing contest. Despite the incredible editing assistance I had received from Julian, RenMan, Bev, and my partner, as 2011 wound to a close, I learned that I did not win first prize. I was officially declared a loser. Fail! News of my defeat spun me into a shame spiral, and I experienced progressive stages of disappointment between 4 and 7 pm on ‘Happy New Year’s Eve,’ including: 1) a temporary loss of the will to live; 2) a general despondency enhanced by listless sighing; 3) a compensation bath; 4) a brief glimmer of hope, quashed immediately by a self-pity relapse; 5) an inspired idea to discover pornography featuring the winner in case I was the runner-up and could claim the prize, just like in the Ms. America contest; 6) a decision to drink and thus to forget. Continue reading
Feminist Figure Girl's Blog 