I don’t usually make new year’s resolutions. Is that because FFG welcomes the future with open arms and mind? Is she a spontaneous, take-life-as-it-comes kind of gal? Fuck no. I am constantly setting goals, making lists, updating my calendar, mapping the most efficient route through the stacks at the Rutherford Library. Continue reading
Did you notice that my title says Christmas instead of Xmas? I know what you must be wondering. Have I taken Christ into my heart, overwhelmed by all the seasonal joy and what not? The answer, my turkey-and/or-tofurcky-stuffed friends, is yes! Continue reading
December Seventeenth, 2011
The sound happens again. I feel warm and stretch forward as it moves beneath me. To my open mouth, it smells like fire. The other one snorts. I begin to cry.
‘Hey sack of shit, are you hungry?’ asks the one who always lays down first. Continue reading
Well, not entirely. You have to admit, though, that I am in many ways the ideal woman for your average straight guy. Have your doubts? No worries, all will be proven with convincing evidence in short order. Continue reading
‘Tis the Season for angry outbursts. If you’ve been to the mall lately, you know what I mean. Just like those harried shoppers, I too am ready to explode. You can’t wait, can you? Oh, I remember how much my discerning readers relished that previous rant in which I shouted into a megaphone about the ‘Gender Police.’ This time I have four things to rage-at-large about, and in fact can barely contain myself. Continue reading
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