Lunk

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Like a key chain at the fair when you don’t break any balloons.

Still exhilarated by my free gym pass—the charming man behind the Planet Fitness counter had refused my open wallet, defying the yellow pages quote of $20/day—I am standing under a sign that reads ‘Judgment Free Zone.’ A mere four days after my competition, and against the advice of QMR, I am ready to work out, heavy, hard core, American style. Last year I was reprimanded for sporting a tank top in an Ontario branch of this franchise, but here, in the good old US of A, my armpits breathe freely. No one tells Americans what to do with their appendages! Continue reading →

Two More Eye Witness Accounts

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The first is from GlamPro (thanks hottie!):

“Everybody loves a freak show!”

 This is the phrase that my partner uttered as we climbed the steps of the Citadel theatre and saw the long line-up of fans waiting to see the pre-judging for the Northern Alberta Body Building Championship. I love my partner dearly, but despite a long history as a queer activist, she has a judgemental streak that sometimes isn’t pretty. I will admit that watching my dear friend FFG transform herself from an admittedly very fit gym rat to a muscled, tanned, bleached and otherwise buffed figure girl was at times a freaky process. Continue reading →

Epic Authorization

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When I say that I’m going to do something, I fucking well do it. Yep. I get ‘er done, never approaching things halfway, always ‘bringing my best.’ That’s not to say that the final results are consistently stellar. Take, for instance, my figure competition on Saturday.  If you have been following this blog, you know how hard I worked during the past year, and especially last five months: dieting with few unsanctioned cheats, training for 133 of the past 135 days (shout out to 2DO, though I doubt she approves of those two days off), swallowing shitloads of supplements, and obeying QMR’s directions in minute detail. The week leading up to the contest I even spent my nights wearing the saran pants pictured below. In an extremely depleted state, I would first take a hot bath in epsom salts, and then slather my thighs, buttocks, and abdomen in preparation H, before covering myself tightly in cling wrap and attempting to sleep. During my first fitting, I foolishly forgot to leave a pee hole. My three-day water load and long gel nails soon took care of that oversight.

  Continue reading →

My Stats, Updated 2 June 2011

Aside

My Stats, Updated 2 June 2011








10 August 2010
01 February 2011
20 March 2011
10 April 2011
17 May 2011
02 June 2011




Weight
132.4
140
130.2
124.4 (9 weeks out)
120 (3 weeks out)
116 (2 days out, water loaded)




Bicep
12 in
13 in
12.5 in
12 in
11 in
11 in




Chest
34 in
35 in
33 in
32 in
31 in
32 in




Waist
27 in
28 in
26 in
25 in
24 in
25 in




Thigh
22.5 in
25 in (thanks DYT!)
23 in
21 in
21 in
20 in




Calf
15 in
15.5 in
15 in
14 in
14 in
14 in