Author Archives: feministfiguregirl

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About feministfiguregirl

I am a 51-year-old professor named Lianne McTavish who receives as much satisfaction from working out at the gym as from publishing my academic research. About eight years ago, I decided to combine my two primary identities (scholar/gym rat) to create "Feminist Figure Girl," a fictional character who both analyzes and participates in bodybuilding. I competed in my first figure show in June of 2011, and then wrote a book inspired by the process, published by SUNY Press in February 2015. In this blog I will write about and consider my ongoing research on the body, while regularly making fun of myself. I recommend that you start reading my first post from August 2010 (available on the home page), instead of backwards from the most recent one, in order to get the full FFG effect.

Stalin Was a Party Pooper (aka Russian Celebration)

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‘Hey Gavrilo,’ I call out to my partner, who is busily scrubbing himself in the shower. ‘Would it be wrong to title my next post ‘Stalin Was a Party Pooper? The industrializing Soviet leader was, after all, a mass murderer. ‘Hell no,’ he replies. ‘Honey badger don’t care.’ So there you have it: his fault. I was about to ask him another question, but finally decided against it. The purpose of his new Old Spice shower gel, suspiciously called ‘The Playmaker,’ is his business. Honey badger don’t care about that either. She is nevertheless intrigued by the poetics of both historical and contemporary displays of manliness, scented or otherwise. More about that below.

First let’s explore my subtitle: ‘Russian Celebration.’ Is that phrase also potentially offensive to millions? Not at all. It refers to a remarkable moment in Sergei Eisenstein’s 1938 Soviet film, Alexander Nevsky, which features a thirteenth-century prince who defended ‘Mother Russia’ against invading Swedes and Germans.

Get in line, Mongol bitches.

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Honey Badger Ethics

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I am not sorry that this blog post is late. I don’t give a shit. I had things to do this weekend. I was hungry so I ate, jumping the line and stealing syrup at the IHOP. I needed pillows, so I went to Ikea, pushing those stiletto baby mamas outta the way to attack giant bins of animal shaped cookie cutters. Only $3.99? Me want! Me suddenly require! Why snail? 

One of these things is not like the others. 

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