Wrinkle Power: James Bond as an Endangered Species

Historian of bourbon.

Historian of bourbon.

”There’s one,” I say to my LSP, pointing to a thin man dressed in a fitted blue blazer. “There’s another,” I nod toward a middle-aged woman with a smart jacket and chunky jewelry. “But I can be even more specific,” I brag in my braggardly way. “See that slightly unkempt fellow with the earnest beard and elbow patches? He is definitely a labour historian.” One by one, I categorize the people entering the Sheraton New Orleans. “Historian of sexuality. Activist environmental historian. Economic historian of the determinist persuasion. Uh oh, check out the disillusioned grad student with recent haircut and sad bow tie.” We both sigh knowingly. Although I too am in town for the annual meeting of the American Historical Society, I am wearing jeans, sensible shoes, and a hoodie, heading out for a tour of the French Quarter. I should probably be fired. Continue reading

End Times and the Paleo Diet

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It’s December 31, 2012, and time that I performed a dreaded chore which I have been putting off for 18 months now. “What the hell FFG?” my impassioned readers are shouting, at least in my mind. “We thought that you were an overachiever, a non-procrastinator. We don’t even know you anymore!” Wait, I can explain. After finishing Chapter Four of my book earlier today, then responding to e-mails, and starting to pack for my upcoming trip to New Orleans, I had finally expended enough energy to sit down and watch the DVD disks of the Northern Alberta Bodybuilding and Figure Championships in which I competed on June 4, 2011. One word sums up this viewing experience: Boring.  Continue reading

PDDS Goes to Emerg (and then writes about it for FFG)

Jody front pic7:45 pm
Sitting in the waiting room after a tough legs workout, I am quite hungry. I dig around in my backpack until I locate a well travelled banana. Settling back in the hard chair I begin to peel it, letting my curious gaze flicker around the room, taking in each individual’s appearance, trying to imagine their stories. Unfortunately, my eyes settle on a button-challenged security guard whose pale, hairless chest has been deliberately exposed. He eyes my banana before sending a wink in my direction. Not wishing to make his pathetic porno fantasies come true, I pack up my bag and relocate to the opposite end of the room before continuing my meal. Continue reading