Food Diary, or The Ugly Truth About Competition Prep (Another Photo Essay)

Gallery

This gallery contains 19 photos.

I fucking hate diaries. Could any literary form be more tediously self-indulgent? ‘Dear Diary, How are you? I am fine, doing laundry after cleaning out my walk-in closet, ready to distribute size 3, 4, and 5 jeans to skinny bitches at the gym. On the … Continue reading

Why I Suck (aka please don’t send me dirty pictures)

‘You are a shitty girlfriend,’ declares my partner. I can hardly disagree. After returning from a week-long research trip to England, I have explained that I will shortly depart for another conference and then leave again for six weeks of teaching in Europe. ‘I hope you will still make the bed and clean the bathroom when I am away,’ I say wistfully, knowing that my house will soon be covered in man arm-hair and tiny cat litter crystals. Still, he does not merit such neglect. Openly admitting that I deserve punishment, I suggest the following: ‘Why don’t you recite all of the things that suck about me? I promise to listen silently for ten minutes.’ In a surprising move, my partner declines this offer, noting his well honed will to survive. 

relaxo fur

My soon-to-be-lonely fur-bearing roommates. At least they have each other.

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Hungarian Rooster Balls

I know damned well what would cure this jet lag, I think while sitting in a cramped dorm room on the Royal Holloway campus, some 19 kilometres west of London: a good workout. It is midnight and I have suddenly woken up from a gravol-induced sleep, busying myself by sorting receipts and writing this post. I decide to do back, bis, and some cardio at the university sports centre tomorrow afternoon, Continue reading