Tag Archives: figure competition

Gender Police

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Celle-ci n’est pas une tarte aux pommes 

A few days ago PDDs and I were doing a killer legs workout at the gym. After my third set of smith machine sissy squats, I wiped the sweat from my brow, tried to catch my breath, and said ‘I am so done.’ ‘Oh no,’ said the energetic PDDs, ‘I will pursue my dream of defined quads with yet another 15.’ Before she could start, however, an unknown fit man wearing baggy shorts and a basketball jersey intervened to offer advice: ‘The next time you are at M and M meats,’ he intoned, ‘I suggest that you try the apple pie.’ Continue reading →

Shout Out to Haters!

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This past week was a media frenzy for FFG. After my research project was featured in the Edmonton Journal, the story was picked up by the National Post, and just this morning I was interviewed for CBC’s Q by the adorable, velvet-throated Jian Ghomeshi. Sigh. When his producer asked me to be on the show, I immediately blurted ‘Oh yeah, I have a big crush on Jian!’ [Edited in October 2014: I greatly regret writing this paragraph after learning that eight women have recently come forward to report their abuse by Jian. I believe these women and now feel only disgust for him]. Continue reading →

Lunk

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Like a key chain at the fair when you don’t break any balloons.

Still exhilarated by my free gym pass—the charming man behind the Planet Fitness counter had refused my open wallet, defying the yellow pages quote of $20/day—I am standing under a sign that reads ‘Judgment Free Zone.’ A mere four days after my competition, and against the advice of QMR, I am ready to work out, heavy, hard core, American style. Last year I was reprimanded for sporting a tank top in an Ontario branch of this franchise, but here, in the good old US of A, my armpits breathe freely. No one tells Americans what to do with their appendages! Continue reading →

Two More Eye Witness Accounts

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The first is from GlamPro (thanks hottie!):

“Everybody loves a freak show!”

 This is the phrase that my partner uttered as we climbed the steps of the Citadel theatre and saw the long line-up of fans waiting to see the pre-judging for the Northern Alberta Body Building Championship. I love my partner dearly, but despite a long history as a queer activist, she has a judgemental streak that sometimes isn’t pretty. I will admit that watching my dear friend FFG transform herself from an admittedly very fit gym rat to a muscled, tanned, bleached and otherwise buffed figure girl was at times a freaky process. Continue reading →