Tag Archives: diet

There Aint No Shit in Bodybuilding

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I am not referring to tbe pre-competition need for laxatives, when bodybuilders consume 400 grams of chicken per day, without accompanying carbs or fibre. I mean that there is no bullshit, no faking it, when athletes stand on stage practically naked. Every flaw, every oversized trap, is out there for all to see. Both judges and trained members of the audience know that your strangely swollen belly—GH gut—was caused by hormone overuse, expanding your organs along with your muscles. We see traces of cellulite that cannot be fully disguised by Pro Tan. Even if the extra skin hanging from your newly Continue reading →

The Beauty Myth (with Mad Men Seasons I and II Spoiler)

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I finally got around to reading Naomi Wolf’s The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty Are Used Against Women, a bestselling book first published in 1991. I had avoided it, first of all because I am a snob who longs for distinction (see the previous post), but also because I was sure that I would despise it. I dislike populist versions of feminism, which tend to reduce hundreds of years of diverse forms of international activism to a few slogans and statistics. I finally had to admit, however, that The Beauty Myth must have struck a chord with at least some of its thousands of readers. As I sped through it, I found myself agreeing with many of its general observations. For instance, I was convinced that the apparent increase in female empowerment and movement into the western labour force during the second half of the twentieth century had met with a backlash in which rigid standards of beauty were more strictly enforced. Women were expected to be good looking as part of many job descriptions and could be legally fired for getting older or fatter, though now such firings would have to be done more cautiously, ostensibly for other reasons. 

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Wanna Be Bodybuilder; Gonna Be Figure Girl

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I won’t be your blog slut anymore. That’s right. I hereby refuse to blog day and night. For God’s sake, I have posted almost 50 times since August! Don’t get me wrong; I like writing, and I like you. I like you a lot. But I feel that we are moving too quickly. Look, it’s my fault and I take full responsibility. I am going to slow down and withhold my posts, giving them up only once a week, spacing them out evenly. You will enjoy the anticipation. I promise. I also promise to intersperse my more academic discussions with sillier ones. Since I regaled you with Foucault last week, it is time for a fun-filled romp through the banalities of my everyday life. There. Don’t you feel better? Now dry those salty lady tears and let’s go…     Continue reading →

Vote and Win a Prize!

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I can guess what you are thinking. Where have you been bitch? And why have you tormented us with two lame-ass posts in a row? I know, I know. This one will be less lame, I promise. And I do have an excuse: I was writing Chapter One of my Feminist Figure Girl book, sending it this morning to the amazing members of my writing group so that we can discuss it later this week. I have already warned those brainiac gals that the dinner menu will consist of my diet food, namely bison steak, roasted sweet potatoes, and asparagus. Well, they can also enjoy wine, appetizers, dessert, and bread, while I resentfully sip on lemon water. Can’t wait!

Actually I won’t be at all resentful because my clean eating is already having visible results, and flattering rewards. Two women in the change room at the gym asked me if I was competing this year, and one of them said I looked ‘jacked.’ Oh how I loved that, and soon it might even be true. Continue reading →

Sugar Rush

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I am powerless in the face of a shortbread cookie. I look at it; it looks back at me. ‘Don’t eat that you fat bitch,’ I command myself. Then I start bargaining: ‘As a sign of your strong will and self-discipline, you must not eat this cookie. You can have a cookie later, just not this one.’ Soon the Scottish temptation is flying into my mouth and I am savouring my moment of defeat. Wait for it….yeah…an intense wave of pleasure washes over my body Continue reading →